Who needs Real Housewives? Gretchen Rossi shows off her bikini body in the Bahamas after ‘being fired’ from show. Showing she has a body made for the limelight, the blonde bombshell made sure she was snapped in her tiny, bedazzled pink bikini, kneeling on the tropical sands in front of the crystal blue ocean. I’m sure there are plenty more opportunities for Gretchen in the reality TV business.

In the meantime, my buddies Tony Fish, Vinnie Lasagne and Pauly Meathead and I are going to hang out in the Florida Keys to enjoy some of this great weather before hurricane season really sets in. I love hurricanes because the girls get scared and want to come and stay at our place. Vinnie has a condo in the Keys and we’re going to see what kind of trouble we can get into down there. I’ll keep you posted! Until next time, remember to NEVER bring home any strays and take care of yourself!! PEACE!!!

Hey Hey Hey!! Oh yeah, you know it’s the one and only Mr. Lance Man back from an awesome week with my buddies Tony Fish, Vinnie Lasagne and Pauly Fish. I love my buds!! If you don’t have your buds then you don’t have anything. We hung out at the Trump Casinos and it was a fun time. I’m not much of a gambler so I didn’t lose big. Pauly lost big but was able to recoup some of his loss back. I only go to meet the cougar babes.

Alright, speaking of cougar babes, here’s semi-cougar Gretchen Rossi – who is reported to have been axed from the upcoming season of Real Housewives Of Orange County – gallivanted in the turquoise waters of the Bahamas on Saturday, showing off her picturesque bikini body. The 34-year-old Real Housewives of Orange County star displayed her slim figure in a black triangle bikini and chic floppy hat to match. She’s looking really nice.

She takes every opportunity to show off her toned figure in skin revealing outfit and Gretchen Rossi opted to ditch the clothing completely for a recent event. The 34-year-old wore a sequined pink bikini as she posed on the red carpet at the World’s Largest Bachelorette’s Party at TAO Beach in Las Vegas on Saturday. The Real Housewives Of Orange County star was hosting the party, which brought together ‘hundreds of brides to be and their friends’ to celebrate their nuptials with ‘one last wild weekend,’ according to TAO Beach’s website. Gretchen proudly stood with her hands on her hips wearing silver high heels and large hoop earrings. The reality star wore her platinum blonde hair in a side plait and opted for a smokey eye and glossy nude lips.

I hope that my wife (whenever the Lance Man gets married) looks great just like Real Housewives of Orange County beauty Gretchen Rossi. Her blue eyes are sparkling along with that red, white and blue bikini. It looks like Gretchen likes keeping an all over body tan which is very appealing. She sure takes away the frumpy stigma of being a housewife. She’s such a proud American that even her high heels represent our flag. Keep up the great work Gretchen and looking forward to seeing more of you in a bikini.

Ok, folks, the Lance Man will now slide this over to the very spunky Jenny Bikini. Everyone in the office likes her and I can see why. We’ve come a long way and I’m glad to work with her. The Lance Man is really working hard to bring you the best celebrities in their hottest bikinis. So until next time, keep your head up and don’t bring home any strays! PEACE!!

Photo Credit: WENN