Hey peeps!! It’s your favorite celebrity reporter Mr. Lance Butts (aka: The Lance Man) back to rock and roll with the hottest photos of really fine celebrities in their sexiest bikinis. Jenny Bikini is right, my drama filled life has returned and I’ll give you all of the juicy details below. I really thought things were looking up. Anyways…

It’s no secret that Jenny McCarthy is a MILF that I’d really like to get with. She’s super hot! I think that Jim Carey was a total fool for letting her go. Take some crazy pills dude, do something to keep her! But his loss is our gain, right fellas?? 🙂 She’s still single and I can’t believe it. Believe me, if I didn’t have my twin girlfriends Barbie and Bambi in my life, Ms. McCarthy would get a phone call from me.

Hey Jenny, I’m like your #1 fan so anytime you feel you need a shoulder to cry on. I’m here for you!!! Damn she’s so hot!

Now, I’m going to keep this short and simple because the more I think about my latest situation, I get super mad. It seems like Barbie (my girlfriend) is pregnant. Hold on! I’m not the daddy! How do I know? Well my momma didn’t raise a fool so I practice safe sex and wear condoms at all times. Sure condoms can break but it hasn’t happened. So basically Barbie cheated on me and guess who I think it was with? My best friend Tony Fish. Tony admitted it to me but Barbie is denying it. What a mess huh? I feel like going on the Jerry Springer show. So we’re all dealing with this latest issue. I can forgive her but I can’t forget. I’ll keep you guys posted on the latest development. Drama follows me everywhere!

Hey it’s the Lance Man back with more pictures of the lovely Jenny McCarthy. I just love this woman so much, I had to bring her back. There is no reason for this woman to be single for more than an hour. I like her more and more every time that I see her on TV. Hey Jenny, if you read this, I just want you to know that I’m your biggest fan and if I didn’t have my twin girlfriends Barbie and Bambi, I’d work to make you my woman. I don’t care about the money or anything, I just want you! Mr. Carey doesn’t know what he just let go and even if he begs to come back, don’t let him because he should have never let you go in the first place. You are a queen!

Ok, now that I’ve just begged Jenny McCarthy to be with me, I’ll probably be in some trouble with Barbie and Bambi but it will only add to the new batch of drama that dropped into my lap this morning. Apparently Brittany, Barbie and Bambi’s younger sister called them and told them both that she was in love with me and that she was going to do her best to take me away from them. So far I’ve received over 100 text messages from Barbie and Bambi and I’m not going to answer them. I’ll probably call up my friend Tony Fish and spend the night over his house to avoid this drama! It’s a good thing it’s the weekend so Barbie and Bambi if you’re reading this…I’m gone for the weekend. Don’t call or text me anymore because I’m throwing my phone away. I love you readers and I’ll see you next week! Hopefully by that time I will have slithered out of this mess like I have the other messes. You gotta laugh!! lol Up next is the beautiful Jenny Bikini! See how delirious I am. PEACE!!!!!

Hey peeps! It’s the Lance Man back with some hot pics of Jenny McCarthy. Now this is one MILF that is super hot. Jim Carey you are a total fool for letting this woman slip through your fingers. Look at her body! She’s totally awesome and has the personality to match. I believe that the break up was probably because of Jim’s crazy psychosis and inabilities to love this woman like she needs to be loved. She’s funny, bright, compassionate and has a cute kid. What’s wrong with you dude? There is no reason you shouldn’t have tried to work it out. Now he’s all alone and still crazy and she’s single but not for long because if any dude knows what’s good for him, he’ll snap her up real quick. If I didn’t have Barbie and Bambi, Jenny would be mine. Oh yeah!